Funeral songs!

[Tommy BOO]

Ok, this thread might be a bit grim, but if you could choose 3 songs that would be played at your funeral, what would they be?

Just in case something happens to me, I have everything planned already...

My simple wooden coffin is carried by a group of little gnomes to the top of the hill where I used to play when I was a kid. There, above the tree tops, the gnomes lay down the coffin on a big stone as someone plays 'Across The Universe' by The Beatles. The song ends and some woman in the back row starts to cry and she's taken to the beer tent. And I don't even know who she is.
After that, some people say a couple of words about me and my life, not anything too sweet or nice, just their honest opinion about me, not any unnecessary blablablah. KENFROM RHYL's speech is so touching that the same woman who was just taken to the beer tent starts to cry again. She comes back after Ken has finished and has a strange smile on her face. I still don't know who she is.
After all this, Paul White takes his acoustic guitar and starts to play and sing 'Fond Farewell' by Elliott Smith. One of the gnomes starts to laugh and no one knows why. An older lady gives him a murderous look and mumbles something to herself.
Suddenly the lightning strikes and it starts to rain. Gillworm is the first one who runs to the beer tent. The gnome is still laughing but people don't pay attention to him. Then he starts to speak with his high beeping voice and asks something: why doesn't the band play 'Fool On The Hill'? That is followed by a complete silence of ten seconds, until everyone understands the joke exactly at the same time, and the tent is filled with laughter. No one notices that the youngest of the gnomes starts eating the cake. Dave W and Martin are talking about football, Kinkster is having a great time drinking free beer. And everyone seems to have forgotten that my coffin is still in the rain. Bastards.
The rain ends and everyone gets outside. The sun is shining again and Che runs to the coffin and starts banging its lid shouting " YOU CLART! " at the same time. No answer.
Martin gets his laptop, lays it on the coffin, and then tries to plug all the cables correctly, while everyone else stares at him. Finally Martin is ready - he kicks off his shoes, sits down behind his laptop, and starts to play Grand Theft Auto 3 while 'Good Life' plays on the background. The song is nearly finished when it suddenly stops when Martin is singing "everything's slower today, everything's slower..." - no one has noticed that the young gnome has been chewing the audio out cable all the time! Martin throws his shoe at the gnome and the little bastard (gnome, not Martin) runs away giggling.
Everyone else goes back to the beer tent except for Martin, who's now busy packing his laptop, and Melz, who comes to talk to him. Melz tells Martin that he enjoyed the song and Martin says thanks. They keep on talking about ordinary things for a while and Melz says that he's going to the USA again next month for a couple of weeks. They both leave soon to get another drink - a pint of Stella Artois (!) for Martin and some Lucozade Sport for Melz.
Suddenly Sice jumps from the cake. No one knows what he was doing there and how he even got inside the cake. The baker who had told everyone that the cake is freshly-baked hangs down his head in shame and blushes, but Princess Punk Rock with crazy earrings pats him on the shoulder and tells him that everything's alright forever.
Sice surprises everyone by playing a mighty new acoustic version of 'The Funeral Song' and announcing that his second solo album "Second Fruits" will be released just before Christmas. Everyone's having a really good time.

Later that evening, John Mc comes back from Abu Dhabi with a cool mini-tombstone in his pocket. The stone is blue and John had found it while wandering on the sea shore in Sri Lanka. He had just enough time to engrave the following text on the stone, eat the hot but tasteless food, and drink some cheap wine provided by the flight company during his flight back to Europe.

here lies tommy boo!(forever)
gone but not forgotten.
safe as fuck, clart.

The little tombstone is placed on the highest point of the hill and my ashes are then scattered in the wind. And somewhere far far away in another galaxy, a new clart is born...


_________________
"Tommy Boo has played a pivotal role in my life. I've looked up to him since I was a kid and he has inspired every note of music I have ever written. The man is a fucking genius" -BC

[The Arthiritic Goat]

You can touch my willy before you die if you like.

[Melz]

[Sir Tommy Boo]

Okay goat I might take you up on that offer. Your willy does sound like a fantastic slice of prime English beef. Must admit I'm partial to such delights.

[bravecaptain]

who are these wankers?

[Guest]

Hey I'm not a wanker. I havent wanked in almost a week.

[che]

[bravecaptain]

i didn't know barber streisand did a cover of adagio for strings. what film was that in? the one where she was disguised as a woman?
mx

[che]

it was full metal jacket. she's the one who blows their brains out in the toilet block.

class.

[katieken]

If there were three songs to be burned or buried to they would have to be
Drugstore - The Funeral (cause its great)
Madonna - Like A Prayer or Like A Virgin (Can't decide)
Nick Drake - Pink Moon (cause its so beautiful)
these may not be the three but they would string possibilities(maybe suite judy blue eyes by CSN or I see the door by the Verve. My Nan already has wriitten her funeral requests down and unforutunately wants No Matter What by Boyzone. Nan's - where would we all be without them.

[gillworm]

well I want a cardboard coffin like George Harrison had, cremation and scattering of ashes. I don't believe in god so the funeral would have to be a humanist service, if I have a service at all.

I only have 2 songs in mind at the moment but I'll work on that...they are 'Lopez' by 808 State, and maybe Radiohead's 'Wolf at the Door' cos it's dark and funny...

oh and, keep Tommy away from the beer...!

[John Mc]

I want 'Lover You Should Have Come Over' by Jeff Buckley, the Match of The Day theme tune* and whatever's number one in the week I die to be played at my funeral. That will keep mourners, the football fans and the kids happy.

* I stole this idea from an interview I read with one of the blokes out of St Etienne.

[ciaran]

I want to be buried to Ride of the Valkyries with everyone in the church/coven wearing black make up and doing gimpy cod-conductor spasms with their hands. Then I want to be set on fire.

However, I don't want to die until the Darkness are totally eliminated. yep, i want to attend Justin Hawkin's funeral before anyone attends mine.

[bravecaptain]

if anyone plays jeff buckley at my funeral please resurrect me.

and then shoot me.

mx

[Sir Tommy Boo]

Hmmm Martin, that sounds a bit negative of you.