joke

[dRd]

Linford Christie goes into a golf club and the man at the reception, looking a bit embarrassed, says "Sorry sir, we don't let black people play here. There's another club ten minutes down the road that might help." "But I'm Linford Christie!" he says. "Alright then, five minutes down the road."

[Guest]

[che]

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!


i don't get it.












maybe i do. :p

[Tommy BOO]

George Best goes to the doctor...

Doctor : "I've got some good news and some bad news for you.
The bad news is you've only got an hour to live."

George : "Jesus Doc, but what's the good news?!"

Doctor : "It's happy hour."


_________________
"Tommy Boo has played a pivotal role in my life. I've looked up to him since I was a kid and he has inspired every note of music I have ever written. The man is a fucking genius" -BC

[boo_babe]

not a terribly bad joke. didnt make me laugh, but smurk a little.

"wats the closest thing to a woman's period?..........................................
.......your salary!....it comes once a month, lasts about 3 to 5 days and if it doesnt come, everyone's in trouble!!!"

had to tell that one. made me laugh last nite!

xx
_________________
Boo Babe

[discoRdance]

Mr. Cadbury and Ms Rowntree met on a coach journey. It was After Eight. She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum & Butter and she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole", she said "I'm the one with the Nuts", he thought. Then he touched her Milky Way. They checked in and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt the contrast of her Double Decker. Then he showed her his Curly Wurly. Ms Rowntree wasn't keen to have any more Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he came out his Fun Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more but he decided to take Time Out. However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetising. So he did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbert and gave her a Gob Stopper. Unfortunately Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel. Sadly, he was soon to discover, he had caught V.D. It turns out Ms Rowntree had been with All Sorts.

[F-H]

A man went to a zoo.

It only had one animal.

It was a dog.

It was a Shitzu

[boo_babe]

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Miss... Could I see your driver's license?"

"What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet" replied the officer.

After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.

"Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration... What's that?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration.

After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes...." replied the officer

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher

"Yes" replied the cop.

"Here's what you have to do..." Said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."

"What? I can't do that. It's inappropriate!" exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me... Just do it..." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs "Oh no... Not ANOTHER breathalyzer!"
_________________
Boo Babe

[boo_babe]

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."

An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry ... we still have one engine left."

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
_________________
Boo Babe

[boo_babe]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
_________________
Boo Babe

[Tommy BOO]

Boo Babe - I take it you're not a blonde then, eh?


_________________
"Tommy Boo has played a pivotal role in my life. I've looked up to him since I was a kid and he has inspired every note of music I have ever written. The man is a fucking genius" -BC

[boo_babe]

i'm have blonde, i really think i was supposed to be blonde tho. But blonde jokes r funny! to me anyway!

xx
_________________
Boo Babe

[joeloke22]

I like 'em blonde & dumb.

joeloke22 asks Jessica Simpson "Jessica will you suck on my banana?" Jessica replies "where's yr banana?" i tell her "it's in my pants." She replies "is this it?" then i say "yep, that's the one!" with a smile. So then she starts sucking and says "how come it tastes like chicken?!"

[discoRdance]

fucksake, easy on the large images... especially ones of that plastic bint

[discoRdance]

A man walks into the Bank of Ireland and shouts to the woman at the counter:
"I want to open a f*cking Current account."

The astonished woman replies "I beg your pardon sir. I must have misunderstood you;
what did you say?"

"Listen up, you f*ck. I said I want to open a f*cking current account now!!".
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank".

The cashier leaves the counter and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation.
The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language.

They both return to the window and the manager asks the man,
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no f*cking problem" the man says.
"I just won 10 million Euro in the f*cking lotto and I just want to open a f*cking current account,
you b*ll*x, is that okay?"

"I see," says the manager, "and is this fat b*tch giving you a hard time?"